Hey elite athletes, listen up.

Just so you know, next week’s Boston Marathon is slated to be a warm—and mildly soupy—one. Weather-forecasting clairvoyants have called for temperatures ranging from the low-60s to the low-70s all along the course during race time. That’s obviously subject to change, as these same atmospheric wonks said it was going to be even warmer yesterday, but that’s the way weather works. You just never know… sort of.

And because of the only marginally predictable nature of that weather stuff, a well-prepared Eagle Scout of a runner will come ready for anything, both in terms of warm weather preparation, and gear.

As far as the former goes, the hay’s in the barn and accounted for. The time for sleeping in a suit of duct tape and garbage bags has long passed. And forget about zapping yourself in a sauna; you should have already done that too.

So all that’s left is to pack your traveler’s gunny sack with attire appropriate for days ranging from pleasant, to tepid. You’ve got your sponge and your painter’s cap. Your favorite racing shorts (careful to not accidentally toss your cut-off Dockers slacks in there) are in the mix. And of course socks and lightweight shoes are a must.

But before you reach for that lucky jersey, or if you’re a particular professional who I’m certain isn’t reading this, that lucky jersey with lovingly slashed holes all over it, think again.

In some instances, you folks at the front have a thing or two to learn from the sloggers behind you. And you can bet your ass and B.A.A.-granted elite athlete per-diem that a good deal of the pasty male Bostonians toeing the line behind you are doing so topless. These men and their Belichick sweatshirt tans are onto something. Because when it’s hot outside, why not run shirtless?

It feels good! Lets the skin breathe! And you’re shaving precious, sweat-soaked ounces off of your feeble body; you want the lightest shoes possible, why not eliminate weight elsewhere? It just makes sense.

If there’s a science reason, please don’t tell me, because I don’t care. But if it’s about something silly like “optics,” “thinking it’s against the rules, or “contractual obligations,” get bent, then read on.

There is nothing in the 2017 USATF rule book prohibiting you from running without a top on. In fact, Rule 143.2 reads:

In hot weather, an athlete competing in a long distance road run may compete without a top shirt. This ruling will be made by the Referee with the approval of the Games Committee.

I can practically hear your jaw hitting the floor from here, as well as envision you nerdily adjusting your reading glasses. “Harumph! But what about my bib!?” you demand of me.

Well, Poindexter, rule 143.4b has my argument covered, meaning your torso need not be.

“What about sunburn?”

Wear sunscreen!

“What will my shoe company’s sports marketing representative say?”

Once you’ve outlasted the field due to your exposed bod and the cooling effects afforded by it, and secured a podium finish, I’d imagine they’ll get over your bizarre refusal to wear the entirety of your uniform.

“Won’t I look silly among my elite, shirted peers?”

Buddy, you’re 130 pounds and wearing shorts that almost show your dingus. You’re worried about looking silly?

“Why hasn’t anyone thought of this before?”

I don’t know. But I look forward to cheering you on to pragmatism-leveraged victory.