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The Teammate Credit System

By Thoms

February 13, 2018

Given that most of you reading this are under the age of 20, I’ll give you a little bit of financial background on credit scores. If you want a credit card, the first thing you generally should do is check your credit. This can be a scary experience. Missed student loan payments, bills you forgot existed and not having a credit card already can all negatively affect your ability to get the credit card you want. A higher score can open you up to cards that offer perks like airline miles, discounts and a higher credit line, which can bring your score even higher. A low score generally leaves you with a higher interest rate, a lower credit limit and little to no perks. It generally makes sense, as a credit score is usually a good way to keep track of how well you handle money. It’s not 100 percent accurate or fair, but generally, it’s an agreed upon measure. In the long run, you can improve your score (or hurt your score if you sign up for a bunch of cards at a table near your student union because they’re giving away stuffed animals that look like famous horses from the history of the bank) and doing what you can to improve it is a good idea.

The Chinese government is currently in the process of rolling out a system called the Social Credit System as a way to measure the trustworthiness and integrity of China’s 1.4 billion citizens. Among the reported list of things that can negatively impact your score are various antisocial behaviors like:

  • Skipping out on a reservation
  • Being negative on social media
  • Publicly criticizing the Social Credit System
  • Cheating on a test in school
  • Not sorting your garbage
  • Jaywalking
  • Quote tweeting on Twitter with a caption saying something like “man this is too true” or “haha” in an attempt to get retweets and likes by identifying that you found a tweet funny or relatable

That last one is made up.

Similar to a credit score in the traditional sense, you can improve your score. Volunteering with the elderly, donating to charity, and other good behaviours are rewarded, raising your score. That higher score can open your access to various clubs, golf courses, hotels, rental cars, loans, and more. It’s a system that is a mix between showrunner Michael Schur’s “The Good Place” and the Michael Schur penned “Nosedive” from season 3 of “Black Mirror.”

While there are numerous valid reasons why this is a bad idea and extension of Communist Party surveillance methods, I can’t help but wonder why this doesn’t exist in the world of running. Wouldn’t it be a good idea to be able to tell how good of a teammate you are? Wouldn’t it make not inviting weird freshmen to the conference party a lot less awkward? Isn’t this a good idea?

But how would the Teammate Credit System be calculated? I’ve taken a quick run at some positives and negatives to give a general idea. Starting with a score of 500, add and subtract points to rank your worthiness on the scale which will run from 300-850. Take a look and see how you would do. Each value is added or subtracted for each event so if you really enjoy cooking dinner for your teammates, good job.

Action Effect
Pick-up hurdles after drills +8 points
Remind your teammates to pack their uniform +5 points
Share snacks with a teammate +12 points
Cook dinner for teammates +15 points
Eat tuna on the bus -50 points
One-step the group on the run -5 points
Post a really good picture of your teammate on Instagram +7 points
Host team party +10 points
Listen to music on bus without headphones -11 points
Take splits for your teammates +5 points
Remind coach that he didn’t give the time for tomorrow’s practice -10 points
Talk too much during a run -9 points
Help lead during a workout +13 points
Wait outside the porta potty while your teammate pees +16 points
Creep on the freshman girls -23 points
Match outfits with your teammate to practice +6 points
Help your teammate stretch before their race +7 points
Lend your teammate a spike wrench +2 points
Run slow with your teammate during a workout so they don’t look bad +14 points
Tell your teammate the good gossip about the team +17 points
Blow up the team group chat -11 points
Drop out of the relay 10 minutes before the race -19 points
Date your teammate -10 points
Give your teammate your Netflix password +6 points
Hog the Normatec -30 points
Ask too many questions during the compliance meeting -19 points
Lend per diem to a teammate +9 points
Post photos of watch stats after a run -24 points
Bring good music to the ice bath +4 points
Watch weird stuff on your teammate’s Netflix, therefore messing with their reccomendation algorithim -8 points
Give up your seat on the bus so your teammate can sit next to their crush +5 points
Talk on the phone till 1 AM in the hotel room while your teammate is trying to sleep -9 points
Buy your teammate something from the Citius Mag store “just because” +20 points
Run further on the cool down with your teammate +3 points
Visit your teammate over winter break +6 points
Have a smelly locker that everybody talks about -23 points
Tell coach what the team does on the weekend -30 points
Tell a funny joke to your teammate before a race +3 points
Organize a team activity not involving volunteering +8 points
Organize a team activity involving volunteering -8 points
Let your teammate know that their new spikes look cool regardless of how they look +9 points
Tag your teammate in a funny original post on Instagram +4 points
Tag your teammate in a screenshot of a funny tweet posted by an account on Instagram that only does that -4 points
Let your teammate eat some of your chips at Chipotle +5 points

Thoms

Author Thoms Heynk lives in Stillwater, Minnesota with his wife Judy and dog Flash. “My Coach The Spooky Scary Skeleton” is the second novel in his “Thoms Heynk Athletics Adventures” Series.