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May 15, 2020

Run Your Slowest Mile

A challenge for everyone. Go out and run your slowest mile.

May 13, 2020

Johnny Gregorek’s Blue Jeans Mile Will Be More Fun Than The Olympics

Johnny Gregorek’s blue jeans mile has the potential to mix things up, provide a great spectating experience and raise money for a good cause.

May 1, 2020

Johnny Gregorek To Attempt Blue Jeans Mile World Record, Fundraising For National Alliance on Mental Illness

Johnny Gregorek will attempt to break Dillon Maggard’s 4:11.80 world record for the blue jeans mile on May 30.

April 16, 2020

CITIUS MAG Modifies Rules Governing Competition Jeans for Blue Jeans Mile

Amid the advancement of jeans technology, CITIUS MAG has set new rules on cotton and denim percentage for blue jeans mile competition.

October 10, 2019

Unofficial Betting Guide for Eliud Kipchoge’s Sub-Two Hour Marathon Attempt

The unofficial betting guide to the INEOS 1:59 Challenge.

March 21, 2019

Why You Should Listen To Lizzo Before Your Next Race

With this pounding, authoritative soundtrack, we now have enough Lizzo music to fill out a full training cycle.

March 21, 2019

These Idiots Are Running the LA Marathon: Analyzing Paul and Ryan’s Training

Ryan Sterner has decided to run a marathon. Paul Snyder has decided to join him in this journey. Let’s dive into their training.

January 14, 2019

Meet The Woman Drawing GPS Dicks On Her Run

It was brought to our attention that a woman has been running around the world drawing male genitalia with her GPS recordings of her runs. We shared some of her best work on our Instagram page and because of everyone’s reactions in the comments section, we reached out for more information on this legend. After a quick trip into the DMs, we got in touch with Dick_Run_Claire – a self described “Beer enthusiast w/ a dick running prob”. Please enjoy this short Q&A with the viral star.

First off, why?

Claire: Well… why not. It makes people laugh, which I love. Everyone needs a little levity in their day. Before I started posting my runs to the ‘gram, I would just send them to friends.

How did this idea come about?

So, it actually started out as an accident. I was visiting my brother in Kansas City – the Missouri side to be specific – and we’re originally from New Jersey so I got lost while out on a run. When I got back and saw the GPS tracker route, I thought it was so funny. After that, I don’t know, I guess I have the mentality of a middle school kid, because I love looking for dickrun routes.

How much preparation goes into your dick routes? Do you know all of them by heart?

I’ve become quite skilled in spotting a dick on a map – it’s a very unique skill. I travel throughout the U.S. (for work and for fun) and anytimethat  I’m in a new city, I really make it a point to get out for a dickrun. I love running in a new place anyway, a run is the best way to get to know a city… and to be able draw a giant dick across a town… it’s just icing on the cake.

I don’t know all of my dickruns by heart – especially the more detailed ones, like the ones with hands especially – but definitely once I have run the route once, I can repeat it pretty easily. The first time doing a dickrun route is tough because you are basically looking at your phone the whole time, making sure you turn at the right streets. The worst is when I get caught up in a run, miss a turn, and ruin the drawing. Then I have to go back and do it again later.

Sometimes I look at a map and it just feels like someone on the “town planning committee” had some kind of Freudian issue because they definitely intentionally made a dick out of the roads. A disturbing amount of the time they’re near schools. Someone should really look into that, honestly.

But sometimes it just takes patience, a keen eye and a little creativity to find the road dick in a town.

Is it hard?

Sometimes 😉   I mean, I’ve tackled all kinds of dickruns…. short and mostly down, long with lots of ascent, sometimes it’s mostly about the balls. It really depends.

What’s the longest run/drawing that you’ve put together?

I think my longest dickrun was in Vermont. I was there with family/friends for a ski weekend and I was also training for a marathon so I needed some decent mileage. That one was 14 miles. And it was actually drawn really well, almost 3D like.

My favorite ones aren’t always the longest though (pun intended). I actually love the ones that have some kind of unique detail – like one I did that had super detailed crinkly balls.

What do your friends and family think of this?

Everyone except my dad thinks I’m hilarious. I even told him that the internet basically voted and they think I’m funny, but he thinks his vote counts more. I try to get everyone I know to go on dickruns with me, but oddly enough only a handful take me up on it.

In the movie Superbad, Jonah Hill’s character says: “”When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem, and it’s not even that big of a deal. Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. It’s–for some reason, I would just kinda sit around all day…and draw pictures of….”” Do you think you fall into that 8%?

When I was a kid, no. But now that I’m an adult with a job, responsibilities and limited free time, I manage to spend an inordinate amount of my day scrolling around google maps drawing road dicks. I have so many I’ve mapped out but not yet gotten to run.

Do you have an ultimate dick run in mind? One route/location that you could retire on?

Well Bangkok would be a cool location for a dickrun just because there’s so much you can do with that. Anywhere with a good name to make some dick puns is a good location. I’m a sucker for dad jokes. But right now, I’m just trying to dickrun all 50 U.S. states.

The coolest thing though would be to organize an official dickrun 5k race. I feel like people could really get creative and into that. Plus coming up with a race medal would be so fun.

November 20, 2018

How serious should you take your local Turkey Trot?

Why you should care about your Turkey Trot?

September 28, 2018

The 10 Alice In Chains Tracks Every High School Harrier NEEDS On Their Pre-Meet Playlist

I tweeted ‘If this gets 2,000 RTs I’ll write a post entitled “The 10 Alice In Chains Tracks Every High School Harrier NEEDS On Their Pre-Meet Playlist’ and it didn’t hit but I wrote it anyway.

September 26, 2018

The Sisyphean Climb: Once A Runner (Fanfiction)

We at CITIUS have written an exclusive excerpt from The Sisyphean Climb, a much-anticipated follow-up to Again to Carthage.

September 17, 2018

Breaking Down The Most Impressive Part of Eliud Kipchoge’s World Record

The splits are crazy but we’re going to breakdown the actual most impressive part of Eliud Kipchoge’s marathon world record yesterday. It’s his post-race celebration.
The man accelerated after running a 2:01:39 marathon. People typically can’t walk after a 26.2 mile race but as we’ve come to learn in recent years – there is no one like Eliud.
A few things to note:

As he crosses the finish line, he does the classic hand clap and fist pump. That’s a great celebration because it shows that you’re happy. Sometimes people finish the race and don’t feel happy. Maybe they didn’t run well and they don’t do the hand clap. The hand clap is nice because it shows that Eliud is impressed with his performance – as he should be.

Another interesting thing to note is that he didn’t wear a watch. That’s good because he didn’t leave the door open for that terrible picture of someone crossing the finish line and looking at their watch. I think he knew that he was going to set a world record today and that’s why he left the watch at home. Maybe we should all leave the watch at home?
Probably about 10 steps after he crosses the finish line and stops clapping, he does a similar head slap to the one by Mo Farah after he won gold at the London Olympics in 2012. That’s an interesting move. It kind of insinuates the “unbelievability” of what just happened. He can’t believe it so he hits his head. He jumbles his brain around a little bit to make sure that what has happened is real. Eliud, it is. It’s really cool, man. You don’t need to hit your head so much. That’s probably not a safe thing to do after a marathon.
After he does the head slapping, he does an arms wide open move and runs for 10 steps past the finish line and toward his coach Patrick Sang. At this point he jumps – well, it’s kind of a jump but more of a three to four inch vertical leap (an estimate based off nothing). For a distance runner that seems fine.
Patrick Sang lifts him up but first gets low. That’s important to note. He gets a little lower. Eliud goes over and Patrick goes under with the arms. Sang uses the momentum of Eliud’s vertical leap to propel Eliud like a child into his arms.
It’s beautiful. Eliud is tiny and looks like a newborn in Patrick’s arms. So happy to be alive and run such a beautiful race.
And of course…it sounds so much better when you add Celine Dion to it.

Thanks to Taylor Hite for the illustration!
September 4, 2018

Feast Your Eyes On The Best Cross Country Roster Portraits – Part X

The return of our hit series. We round up the best cross country headshots and portraits and roast them just a little.

August 27, 2018

Eric Senseman Mentioned Me In An Article On CITIUS MAG And My Life Instantly Got Better

What happens when you cite someone in an article about CITIUS MAG following you on Instagram? Dakota Jones found out.

August 8, 2018

Citius Mag Followed Me On Instagram And My Life Instantly Got Better

An interned decided that Eric Senseman was worth following on Instagram and it led to a crazy chain of events for one of our favorite ultrarunners.

August 1, 2018

Cars 3 Is The Worst Movie To Watch While Injured

Sitting down and watching Cars 3 while nursing an Achilles injury might be worse than the actual injury. Here’s a cautionary tale.

July 9, 2018

Inspired By Gwen Jorgensen’s Spikes, One Citwit Got Creative

Inspired by Gwen Jorgensen’s customized pair of Nike Vaporfly 4% spikes, one Citwit decided to get creative with his own pair of spikes.

July 6, 2018

Sterner Vs. 60 Was The Fastest That I Will Ever Move My Body Ever Again

Ryan Sterner was faced with a bet that he couldn’t break 60 seconds for 400 meters with little to no training. The inside story of how he did it.

June 22, 2018

My First Day at Western States: I’m a huge failure

Today has been full of mistakes. My first day on a press trip, and I’ve completely, totally, utterly dropped the ball.

I’m currently on-assignment covering the Western States Endurance Run. I cannot emphasize enough the poor job I’ve done.

Today was a day where the elite athletes were all meandering around the Village at Squaw Valley – totally accessible to media, and I failed to gather one goddamn interview. It would have been great to have sat down for a few minutes with Courtney Dauwalter (complete badass, overall winner of the 2017 Moab 240-MILER-WTF[!]), or Jim Walmsley (0-2 at Western States, but we all want him to finish this year). But I didn’t. I failed to gather one soundbite, one photo.

Instead, I went for a run along the Truckee River. It was beautiful, but I should have been contacting athletes for interviews.

Then, I ate a robust bowl of oatmeal on the back porch of the cabin I was staying at. The cabin is about a mile from the Village at Squaw Valley. I should have been heading over to the Village to find the athletes I had contacted a few hours earlier.

After my oatmeal, I sat around the cabin. Did some small talk. Nothing productive. It was during this time of nothingness where my appetite began to build. I should have sucked it up and gone to the Village to find some athletes, but, as I’m sure you can now tell, I didn’t. I drove 15 miles to Tahoe City (past Squaw Valley) to find a salad and an iced coffee. Cognitive dissonance. It’s beautiful.

Once 2:00 PM rolled around, I now thought it was the right time to go find some athletes. The sun was in full force, and obviously these athletes would be walking around the ski area, soaking up the sun the day before they race 100 miles through the California mountains and canyons.

I didn’t find a single athlete. I did find a delicious chocolate chip cookie, though.

Truth be told, my day wasn’t a total failure. I tagged along with my girlfriend to the Salomon crew house so she could see Lucy Bartholomew before she raced. While they went over her race plan, I waited in the den and watched as a French man and a Swedish man worked in tandem to prepare for tomorrow’s race.

The Swede, Johan Steene, will be lining up at 5:00 AM tomorrow morning to take on the burden of Western States. Hearing him talk about eating baby food at mile 65 was the closest thing I came to any sort of professional journalism today. As it turns out, nutrition – second only to having legs – is the most important part of completing Western States.

“I bought these today,” Johan said about the baby food. “It seems like it will be good.”

Apparently Johan hadn’t ever experimented with the baby food before planning to use it during one of the premier ultramarathons in the world. Seems fairly non-traditional for a Swede to do something without proper calculations, but Johan, my new favorite runner, seemed sure of himself.

And so, that’s all I have to report from the day before Western States: as long as you’re confident, you should be fine.

June 22, 2018

The Origin and Mythology of French Bread Friday

The story behind French Bread Friday is not exactly what you thought it would be. Nicole Bush and Shelby Houlihan got to the bottom of it.

May 24, 2018

The CITIUS MAG Blog Boys will be at the Pre Classic

Eugene, Oregon. Better known to some of you nerds as TRACKTOWN USA. Home to Hayward Field. Birthplace of Nike. Where Steve Prefontaine won a couple of races and where we first met Galen Rupp’s insane face mask. Yes, TRACKTOWN USA has a rich history and after this weekend you can add another little notch to its already impressive timeline:

May 2018 – a few idiot bloggers sneezed around the city streets for two whole days in an attempt to bring sub-par content to the masses you people.

That’s right nerds, Scott Olberding, Stephen Kersh, and I will be in TRACKTOWN USA for the 2018 edition of The Pre Classic. Based on our preliminary editorial calls, here is a small list of things you can expect from us: memes; motion-sickness-inducing live video updates; probably some charts; you bet your ass a blog or two; a lot of shouting; some behind the scenes footage of ATHLETES, and our ongoing attempts to answer the age old question of “professional athletes, are they really just like us?” The answer is of course not, they’re better and also far more bizarre than any of us could even conceive.

Anyway, in order to round this blog out to a serviceable word count, here are some thoughts ahead of this weekend from the blog boys and chief blog boy Chris Chavez.

CHRIS CHAVEZ

“Much like Steve Prefontaine is considered the most influential and inspiring runner of his era, I believe that Ryan, Scott and Stephen are the most influential writers in the track and field blogosphere at the moment.”

STEPHEN KERSH

“One of the funniest things I’ve ever heard happened when I was on a bus en route to Eugene. I was traveling to Eugene from Portland for a college cross country meet. Our coach wasn’t really speaking and didn’t seem too happy, so the women’s coach leaned over and asked him if anything was bothering him.

‘Of course something is bothering me, I’m heading to fucking Eugene.’

And, so, as I write these words while waiting for my flight to Eugene, I cannot help but feel the exact same way. It’s a curious place. But not curious in the fun, interesting way. More curious in the what-the-fuck-happens-here-when-the-students-leave kind of way. I would answer mostly skullduggery and general malfeasance.

This all being said, I am excited to attend Pre Classic with my fellow Blog Boys. They’re nice to me and we always have a fun time together. As far as entries go, they’re all good. This is a Diamond League meet. Do you know what a diamond is? It’s precious. It’s a precious fucking stone. These are all precious entries and the races will be great.

This all being said, I hate Eugene.”

SCOTT OLBERDING

“I’m looking forward to the closing ceremony where we get to fire a every article with a byline including ‘Historic Hayward Field’ into space. This is the last Pre Classic at that stadium before it gets its big remodel.

Also, the entries. They are all certifiably nice. Personally, I hope we get a new coronation of new US Spring Gods in Noah Lyles and Christian Coleman. How fun are those guys?

I’m also looking forward to jogging with the hung-over fans on Pre’s Trail at approximately 9:30am on Saturday. Speaking of which, I will be very much looking forward to trying to coerce Stephen to walk to the Wild Duck at 9 p.m. on Friday night.”

RYAN STERNER

“Stephen and Scott have only terrible things to say about Eugene.

The first and last time I was in Eugene was for the 2012 Olympic Trials. I was 22. Most of my downtime was spent sleeping on a slowly deflating air mattress in the corner of someone’s living room. I ate pop tarts and coffee for lunch. I drank my dinner. Despite all of this, I had a great time.

I am 28 now. If I tried to live like that again, I’d walk away from Eugene with a herniated disc while feeling nothing but ill will for the place.

This weekend, however, I plan on maintaining a high fiber diet and sleeping on a real mattress, which I hope to settle in to no later than 9 pm every night. I also plan on talking exclusively about the pollen count.

What about the races? Sure, I bet they’ll be great.”

May 23, 2018

The Joggler: A Story on Zach Prescott – (CITIUS MAG’s First Mini Documentary)

Watch CITIUS MAG’s first-ever mini-documentary on Zach Prescott, the Boston University runner who ran a 4:43.2 mile while juggling three balls.

May 20, 2018

The Diary From a Disciple of the Church of the Sunday Long Run

7:00 AM Ah! At last! Sunday. Our day of truest worship. The day that, many moons ago, our great leader decreed: “Ye shall run Long once a week and ye shall wait until the finalest day to do doth deed. Also, if ye run Long whilst enrolled in Academia, ye shall be hungest over.”

While my body is slowly waking up, my spirit lags behind. My corporeal existence craves its most basic needs: banana, peanut butter, coffee, and toilet.

7:30 AM – The service has officially begun! The foam roller has been placed on my molding yoga mat and I begin my elaborate, practiced routine of pretending to roll out calves, quads, and back.

I mainly just look at my phone.

7:45 AM – I grab my holy Maurten water bottle and a host of essential energy bars for the post-Church of the Sunday Long Run protein window before heading to my car to pick up fellow worshippers.

We listen to Chance the Rapper’s ‘Blessings’ for our short drive to the trailhead. We are – indeed – staying ready for our blessing.

7:56 AM – I begin to sync my Garmin, readying it for the hill and dale that lie ahead.

8:01 AM – THIS GOD DAMN THING WON’T SYNC

8:04 AM – Myself and six other disciples of the Church of the Sunday Long Run take our first steps towards salvation.

8:10 AM – Seeds of initial mistrust have been sewn in the group as Lucas has told us he plans on running 70 minutes.

70 minutes is no long run.

8:17 AM – Lucas’ fall from grace has been all but forgotten as Skylar begins to break the covenant with a sub 7-minute mile far too early in the service.

I cannot help but believe I am surrounded by wolves in sheep’s clothing.

8:25 AM – Sweet respite as we pause to toilet ourselves.

8:35 AM – It is usually around this part of the service where I unleash a demonic oath to never attend another gathering while denouncing this religion in whole. But, for whatever reason, today I was struck by epiphany.

“My friends. What if we honored Sunday as a day of rest?”

“But Sundays are not for rest.”

“But they could be.”

“No. No they could not be. Our great leader decreed it so.”

“What if he was wrong?”

I fear I have paved my path to martyrdom.

8:37 AM – My epiphany fails to create any sort of constructive discourse amongst my fellow disciples, instead they try their best to drop me from the group by increasing the pace.

I take each blow with grace, not speaking but answering with a surge of energy. I refuse for my heresy to die an easy death. 

8:39 AM – Lucas turns and leaves the group.

There is no question in my mind our leader will smite the very earth he runs back to his car. We will never see Lucas again. 

8:45 AM – I find Lucas’ decision to not run a true long run today, on our day of worship, particularly troubling. Not only for himself and his soul, but for myself and my epiphany.

Lucas’ actions, albeit vile, might give credence to my thoughts of conducting our weekly service on, for example, Saturday.

9:15 AM – After spending the last 30 minutes in deep thought, invoking our deepest beliefs, I speak:

“Next Saturday, I will be conducting my worship at the Church of the Saturday Long Run. You are all welcome to join, as is anyone from any other creed. I will be reaching out to our friends at the Church of the Saturday is an Off Day, at the Church of Friday is Speed Day, and, of course, our fellow believers at the Church of the Vaporfly 4%.”

“You can’t do that. That is illegal.”

“There is no way that is illegal.”

“I promise you I will call the police on you.”

“Why”

“DEICIDE”

Skylar is an idiot.

9:45 AM – I have decided to abscond the Church of the Sunday Long Run with a great hope to form the Church of the Long Run. A place where all distances can be run on all days without judgement, nor malice. We will not tack our existence to one day in the week, rather will find peace in our body of work throughout the week.

I deeply hope Lucas is alive. Lucas clearly understands. Lucas will be my first disciple.

 

May 13, 2018

QUIZ: Yoko Ono Tweet, Alexi Tweet, or Lyric from “Burning Down the House” by Talking Heads?

Noticed a trend over the weekend while listening to “Burning Down the House” by the Talking Heads that all three of these things could be interchangeable.

May 11, 2018

My friend ices his nuts to be a better runner

My friend is trying some new Biohacking treatment where he ices his testicles in order to be a better runner. The reviews for the product are strange.

May 11, 2018

Behind The Scenes of the Juggling Mile World Record

CITIUS MAG fan Ian Anderson tweeted and emailed us about a Boston University’s Zach Prescott running a 4:43 mile while juggling three objects

April 27, 2018

I have joined the fitness cult known as Strava

I did some research on how to identify a cult in the U.S. and I think by becoming a Strava member, I’m part of a fitness cult now.

April 16, 2018

Thoughts on the 2018 Boston Marathon As Told By GIFS

This is not your typical recap of the Boston Marathon. Rather this is a collection of thoughts and reactions, as summarized by GIFs.

April 14, 2018

A Comprehensive Ranking of the 2018 Boston Marathon Edition Shoes

We take a look at all of the special edition shoes released by New Balance, Saucony, Altra, Brooks, Adidas and more for the 2018 Boston Marathon.

April 13, 2018

Citius Mag Beer Review: Marathon Wheat Ale from Start Line Brewing

Our first beer review of Boston Marathon weekend goes to Start Line Brewing. Watch as Citius Mag founder Chris Chavez drinks his first beer.

April 10, 2018

Stephen’s Scoop: You Aren’t Going To Win Any Money At This Year’s Boston Marathon, But This Is Better

the 2018 Boston Marathon will be showing some love to an oft-forgotten, nary celebrated sub-section of runners: the age grouper. Through funding from adidas and The Woolmark Company, the top-20 in 13 age group categories will be earning long-sleeve Merino wool shirts.

April 1, 2018

The Alberto Salazar ESPN 30 For 30 Documentary You’ve Been Waiting For

“Bad Boys For Life: The Story of Alberto And Diddy.” The film will follow Sean “P. Diddy” Combs and his effort to run the 2003 ING New York City Marathon.

March 19, 2018

How you treat your water bottles and what it says about you

People treat their respective water bottles to varying degrees of care and compassion to downright abuse. We break it down.

March 15, 2018

Suggestions To Replace Urine Bottles For Doping Tests

Because Berlinger is halting production of urine bottles for anti-doping tests, we’ve decided to come up with suggestions on things to replace them.

March 14, 2018

The 10,000-meter is The Wire and other things you may not know

Examining objectively good track and field events, as well as their accompanying TV show counterparts like The Wire and Arrested Development.

March 13, 2018

A look into the dark world of energy gels

I’m a huge idiot. I’ve never ran a marathon. I’ve never used a GU. I don’t even know what they are. So I reached out to some ‘experts’ about energy gels.

March 8, 2018

A Brief Timeline of All the Bullshit Female Runners Have Overcome

It’s international women’s day, so it’s time to recognize the hurdles overcome, and celebrate the women that are continuing to blaze a path forward.

March 8, 2018

Icarus Director Bryan Fogel Tests Positive for PEDs in Post-Oscars Ceremony Testing

“Icarus,” the 2018 Academy Award Winner for Best Documentary Feature, has been stripped of its award and been issued a four-year ban.

March 8, 2018

Your Roadfood Guide to Indoor Championship Weekend

One of my goals whenever I travel is to find good roadfood. If I can find just one it’s a successful trip. What do I mean by “roadfood”?

March 1, 2018

How We Envision The Women’s 3,000m Final At World Indoors

In honor of the start of the IAAF World Indoor Championships, Video Guy Kyle put together a video of how he thinks the women’s 3,000m final will shake out.

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