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Nike Breaking2: Prop bets, odds, favorites

By Stephen Kersh

May 4, 2017

Well, we did it again: we gathered the brightest minds at Citius HQ to come up with some betting lines for Breaking2. It should be noted that none of us are privy to the subtle intricacies of setting a betting line, so we apologize in advance.

Which previously undisclosed bit of technology will Nike unveil mid-time trial as its trump card?

  • Uniforms made entirely of AeroSwift Tape (3/1)
  • A beverage even more carbohydrate-dense and even more Swedish-sounding than Maurten (5/2)
  • Heelys (7/1)
  • A Galen Rupp clone, with carbon fiber implements instead of a conventional skeletal structure (20% lighter!) (350/1)
  • Hydraulic modification to the course that renders the 2.4-kilometer loop a nonstop, downward spiral, a la an M.C. Escher piece (475/1)

Chris Derrick’s preferred interjection while the pacers are receiving their final instructions:

  • “Actually” (even)
  • “Well, technically” (3/1)
  • “Uh, the thing is” (5/2)
  • “WRONG” (27/1)

What actually happens during the Breaking2 experiment:

  • The live feed becomes “compromised” and the experiment is publicly hailed a success as Kipchoge purportedly runs 1:59:56. Nike executives are unable to be reached for comment as they walk around with their fingers in their ears muttering “nana nana boo boo” (2/1)
  • The runners, because they are tired, get a break after they hit the half-marathon point to sit down, relax, and enjoy a Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow rock concert (4/1)
  • An inevitable breakdown in communication occurs, and a Formula1 race begins on the track. An entire generation of incredible athletes are wiped out (324/1)
  • Kipchoge breaks the two-hour barrier (1000/1)

Upon finishing and smashing two-hours, Nike presents Kipchoge with:

  • Advanced tickets to Fyre Festival 2018: Ja Rule’s Revenge (5/2)
  • Socks and a gift card (7/1)
  • An MP3 player pre-programmed with two-hours of looped Blues Traveler’s “Run-Around” (12/1)
  • A Sunny Co Clothing red swimsuit (36/1)
  • A pair of customized Crocs reading “SUB” on the right foot and “2” on the left (70/1)

Odds to win Breaking2 MVP:

  • Eliud Kipchoge 3/2
  • Matt Ryan 7/4
  • Zersenay Tadese 11/2

Over/under on finishing time: 2:01:22

Odds a brouhaha erupts: 150/1

Odds a fan streaks on the course: 4/1

Odds a defrocked Irish priest makes contact with the runners: 3/1

Odds a fan throws a dildo on the field: 45/1

Odds Eliud Kipchoge retires after the run: 120/1

Odds on the primary color of Eliud Kipchoge’s hair when he comes out to run:

  • Black: 2/3
  • Blond: 14/1
  • Pink: 2500/1

Odds one of the pacers makes an anti-Trump political statement as they hop into the race: 10/13

Over/Under number of Kyler Merber tweets about Breaking2: 9

Over/Under on the number of times “greatest of all-time” is mentioned on the broadcast: 3.5

Over/Under on Luciano Pavarotti’s length of the Italian National Anthem: 1 minute and 58 seconds

(Wait, he’s dead?)

Odds on Enya’s opening half-time performance show song:

  • Only Time 3/1
  • May It Be (From Lord of the Rings) 7/2
  • Orinoco Flow: 4/1
  • Other: 2/1

Odds on which company will sneak in an ad during the broadcast:

  • MeUndies: 33/1
  • TurboMax: 53/1
  • Toyota:500/1
  • Adidas: 1500/1

Stephen Kersh

Former collegiate runner for University of Portland and Georgetown, currently a professional runner weighing sponsorship offers from no one. Enjoys using the internet to message Scott Olberding and Paul Snyder about bad story ideas. Does not assume he will work at Citius much longer due to the bad story ideas. He once gave a TED Talk titled "Twitter: How We Are All Just Shouting into a Vacuum" to his best friend and his girlfriend on the beaches of Connecticut.