For most, the opportunity to have widely-circulated portrait ends in high school, or starts after your first petty crime, but, PER USUAL, student-athletes are exempt from these rules. They get their mugs immortalized 1-3 times a career depending on the quality of their respective sports information department intern. And, If we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s if you give a runner the chance to act like a high schooler again, he or she will double-down on that offer every damn time. So,after this was a hit last week and we’ve decided to make it a recurring weekly round-up on Citius Mag dot com, we present a handful of kids who loved playing dress-up well after it was an activity anything close to appropriate with regards to their age.
We know you have more so shoot them our way via email or Twitter DM. Our info is at the bottom of the post.
We’ll take a quick second here to recognize the fact that one of last week’s champions, Craig Engels of Ole Miss, took the time to tweet us an outtake from this year’s portraits. It’s upsetting that didn’t make the cut. Sad!
@CitiusMag I think this year's one may have been a little over the top…. pic.twitter.com/Y945KdHHNl
— Craig Engels (@craigathor) April 8, 2017
Onto this week’s lucky participants:
We first read the name too fast and thought that he was Jackson Slayer but it’s Sayler but he’s certainly slaying it with these looks.
You know how sometimes you try and use one of those facial recignition filters on Snapchat and it doesn’t pick up on a certain part of your face. That’s exactly what happened here when he tried to use the “Hook” filter. RIP Robin Williams.
If you look close enough, you can count exactly how many teeth Brian has. It’s more than the average human being.
Dad? Is that you?
We’re inclined to think that Dartmouth looks forward to picture day more than Heps. This fella looks like he’s ready to hit you with his “You come to me on the day of my daughter’s wedding…” Marlon Brando impression.
And here we are thinking that the greatest thing Grand Blanc has produced for running was Grant Fisher.
This is when you walk into a barbershop and tell your barber that you want the Matthew McConaughey look from “The Lincoln Lawyer” but he’s only seen Interstellar and Wolf of Wall Street. If you tell him that you want the McConaughey look from the Lincoln commercials, then your hair is too short. So then you tell him you want the Bradley Cooper from “The Hangover” look and you have to run through the characters so that he gets it right.
If you spend too much time at Montana State, you start to look like a Bobcat.
This is the exact look that you get when you’re too loud at the library on campus. His chin is lowered and he’s almost peering above his glasses. He’s judging the entire time.
Connor’s got an impressive IMDB page.
No, that’s not a hovering head or black paint on his neck like he’s the lead singer of 21 Pilots. That’s a perfectly executed turtleneck. Steve Jobs would’ve been proud.
“Three Billy Goats Gruff” is a Norwegian fairy tale. The fourth was most recently discovered at the University of Rochester.
Team of the Week
Gonzaga came at us with some heavy-hitters this week and sent in several YEARS worth of team portraits. We usually will have two teams in this section and you vote on the best but no one could match Gonzaga’s line-up of studs.
Inspired by the 😁 emoji.
He went for the Macklemore look but ended up looking like he might be going in for a quick kiss to the photographer.
Andy has the Little League baseball coach look down pat.
Jean-Ralphio goes to college.
When we surveyed our staff to squint and look at the image, we got different replies. Some went with “lion.” One person went with “Carrot Top.” Three others went with “Shaun White”.
Jake did not care at all about picture day. Rolled out of bed. Drank a Monster. Tossed on his polo shirt. Took his longboard over to the athlete center and snapped his picture without missing a minute of Astronomy.
Mitchell seems like a very nice guy.
Zac is just stoked about life. Loves every minute of it.
With a name like Sumner and that impressive, he’s destined to be a sheriff.
You’re not gonna find a better mullet on the west coast.
Believe it or not, Jake Perrin was the guy who texted Forest to wake up because he was going to be late for the team picture.
Does Devin forget to set his fantasy football lineup more or haircuts?
Hero of the week
Sam wrote to us and said that his mother wasn’t too happy about this picture. We’re very happy about it and the thousands of people reading this will be happy. Any time you get to do your best Kevin McAllister post- after shave face and also pay tribute to Norwegian expressionist Edvard Munch, you’re doing the world a service. Thank you, Sam. This belongs in a museum.
Division I, II or III or even high school track team portraits are welcome. We know there’s more out there so sent them our way by email [email protected] or DM us on Twitter.