For most, the opportunity to have widely-circulated portrait ends in high school, or starts after your first petty crime, but, PER USUAL, student-athletes are exempt from these rules. They get their mugs immortalized 1-3 times a career depending on the quality of their respective sports information department intern. And, If we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s if you give a runner the chance to act like a high schooler again, he or she will double-down on that offer every damn time. So, in cooperation with our celebration of Fashion Week here at Citius Mag, we present a handful of kids who loved playing dress-up well after it was an activity anything close to appropriate with regards to their age.
The magnificent mullet / mustache combo that beautifully pranced it’s way to 4th (800) and 5th (1500) at the Olympic Trials last summer, once had an early iteration we’d like to call the “effeminate bookworm.” Fancy, but smart. Rugged, yet tender. A freshman year throwback for the ages from a young Craig Engels.
“Seen here as a sophomore, Casey’s bewildered expression was a put-on; the Spokane-native had already adjusted to life in the big city and merely was enjoying a goof. Not pictured: me wearing the exact same suit, shirt, and tie moments before for my own updated roster photo, all of which I removed in plain sight of the photographer, to place onto Casey’s torso.” – Paul Snyder
“I have no comment” – Paul Snyder
We like to think that Alex posed for this photo after a confusing summer of living in the woods of Sheboygan County, Wisconsin and filling his free time between workouts watching YouTube videos with titles like “7 Easy Steps to Look Like You Want to Cry and Look Sexy At the Same Time” and “The Most Important Model Pouty Face Video Ever!!!!!!!!”
Believe us when I tell you this, his name is Donald McDonald. The mustache and the stare gleam right into your soul.
Tyler King is good people. We’ve liked the kid from the moment we first laid eyes on him. Paul Snyder worked as co-counselors at a cross country camp on the Olympic Peninsula in his native Washington state. But when we saw from his University of Washington roster shot that he went through the trouble to present himself as a bleached-out version of famed NBA coach Pat Riley… that’s when we knew we loved the guy.
Pierce Murphy, ladies and gentleman. The beauty of this portrait is that you’re not quite sure if this is what he actually looks like or if he’s just making a goof. One eye Pierces (eh!?) your soul, while the other wildly scans the room for a fly. His underbite is subtle, but present. And his hair is among some of the best we’ve seen in the NCAA. Bravo, pierce.
I’m positive Dylan walked away from this photo, smashed one fist against a jukebox and it simultaneously started playing swing music and spitting out 50 cent pieces. He probably also sent this photo to his mother and she said something along the lines of “is he incapable of taking a nice photo?”
Rock Hill has never been confused to be a fashion mecca. Neither has Boone. A confused Brandon Hudgins once decided to merge this “still cool in South Carolina” bowl cut, with the peachfuzz, reminiscent of the moss on the Appalachian Mountains. Relationship status: Single.
Leering is a lost art. Before the digital age of flirting, I believe we can all trace some linage back to a promiscuous grandfather who had a nice leer. Stephen Kersh personally knows Cody Barton and can attest to his leer. It’s a good leer. 12/10. I think many people get lost in his cobalt, tiny eyeballs and miss the subtle lift, and crack of his worm-like lips. Couple these great qualities with hair that looks like it was covered with turpentine and left to rot, you have one of the more iconic roster photos of our generation.
Come for the haircut and shit-eating grin straight out of “Family Ties”, stay for the juxtaposed soft-core porn star running to fix your clogged drain.
Even before a 61:48 half marathon, Noah Droddy was a legend.
Zach Polley grew out the mullet just for this photo and word on the street is that it could be making a comeback in 2017.
It’s unconfirmed but the photographer told Micah that he had something in between his teeth after a nice lunch at the campus salad shop. Micah was just checking!
Uhhh, hey J.J., Rocking the post-coital hair for the team pics? Nice.
Ryan Fenton is a legend. He can get away with rocking the frosted tips a la Justin Timberlake in the NSYNC days. He can’t get away with saying that he’s 6’6″.
Remember those Geico commercials with a caveman? Ben Goodman was inspired.
Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Hide your girlfriend. The Mary Washington men’s cross country team 100% own that campus.
I wish there was video footage of what Dino Bozzone’s pre-race speeches were like. We’re envisioning Dom Mazzetti-esque quotes left and right.
Chris embodies everything that we love about Ramapo College. The Jersey attitude coupled with the liberal arts snark; like if the cornerstore from Clerks had been staffed with a bunch of lit majors.
If you told me there was a movie about how Ellis and Austin robbed a bank together and almost got away with it, I’d totally believe you.
Liam’s mother was begging him to shave that mustache for weeks before picture day. It’s the same spiel every time that he’s home for Thanksgiving dinner and has to explain how Stashies at Nashies carries over into No-Shave November.
Patrick definitely doesn’t wear glasses but he bought those just for the picture. Coupled with the subtle peek of the Boathouse logo on his jersey, this is a truly timeless look.
This photo is so Wisconsin. If you watch “Making a Murderer”, Dawson Miller easily sounds like the name of a character on there or could’ve walked in the background as an extra. Give this man a Spotted Cow and a nice batch of cheese curds that is an A+ mullet.
The hair. The sneer. The JC Penny-esque cloud background. All of it. Perfect.
Had to show a little bit of love for the throws. This guy’s nickname is Quiz and you know he twirls that mustache while answering all the tough questions in class.
We believe that Garrison took his regular head shot and then threw on some glasses and Schrute-parted his hair so he could take his roommate’s picture. We looked around and it seems like the university has no idea or they don’t care, because they posted both head shots on the website and shared a post about them qualifying for Nationals including both images side-by-side.
There’s the cornerback for the Arizona Cardinals named Patrick Peterson and then there’s this mop-head from Sacred Heart University. Making up for being really scrawny his sophomore year, Pat was definitely looking to add a few pounds to his weight by growing out the shaggiest locks on campus, aside from the lacrosse team. Some say it got as long as a Highland Cow from Scotland.