On Monday afternoon, USADA dropped the strange news that Olympian and 800m specialist Ajee Wilson tested positive for a performance enhancing drug but it was ingested without fault or negligence because it likely came from a very cheap and delicious cheeseburger she devoured. So while it’s weird she’s eating burgers with a side of Zeranol, the drug that she tested positive for, it’s not like any of us can say we wouldn’t do, or haven’t done, the exact same thing.

While it wasn’t anything intentional from Wilson, it got us digging through Twitter to find the most salient excuses for positive drug tests. While none of these are on the level of Ben Johnson once claimed that his positive test was the result of drinking a spiked sasparilla-and-ginseng energy drink, or Dennis Mitchell saying his test was the result of drinking five beers and a whole lot of coitus with his wife (it was her birthday for crying out loud!), there are some gems.

Please enjoy responsibly:

Don’t be like these silly idiots, stay up to date with the USADA advisories on supplements from their high risk list.