Welcome to a new, sporadically-occurring column here at Citius Mag, “Citius Talks Tech,” where a randomly selected member of our staff will be talking about tech, and its intersection with the wild and wacky world of athletics.

Have a topic you’d like us to dissect? Simply do us a Twitter (@CitiusMag), but please, nothing too difficult, like “how do computers work?” or “what is a app?”

Yesterday, the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) launched a new app and platform called “Speak Up!” that the group hopes will encourage prospective whistleblowers to report perceived instances of doping violations, through its easy-to-use interface.

There’s lengthy press release, but the main takeaway is that Speak Up! is a pretty good idea from a confidentiality standpoint, in that it allows informants to open up private, anonymous correspondence with WADA, without having to use personal phone numbers or email addresses. That said, the fact that there is also an app feels like a somewhat ham-fisted attempt on the part of WADA to make snitching cool for millennials.

If you’re interested in poking around the Speak Up! Website (which lets you do everything the app does), feel free to check it out because I’m not writing anything else about it. The web is nothing new to a tech expert (henceforth, “techspert”) like me.

Instead, let’s venture over to the app, whose icon is pictured in the bottom right of this screenshot from my dang cell phone:

It’s worth noting that it looks like this app is about arranging pickles in a parallel fashion. It’s also worth noting that when you open the app up, it’s just the website:

Call me old fashioned. Call me a Luddite. Call me what you will. But I just don’t think apps are going to save the world, like some technocratic folks seem to. Out of the thousands (hundreds?) of apps that have been developed, maybe seven or eight are actually useful, and the rest are either bad, dumb, stupid, or apps for the sake of being apps.

All-in-all, if you’re looking to anonymously blow a whistle or wear a wire on behalf of WADA, stick to the tried and true methodology of cutting out letters from magazine articles and gluing them to a manila folder.

But if you must use tech, just use the website, because it’s less likely to crash, and you’re less likely to mistake it on your home screen for that phone video game where you cut fruits and vegetables in half.