Every once in awhile, a story breaks that reminds us no matter how cute animals seem, they will kill humans with little or no remorse. Like how pet lions occasionally maul people to death. Or how people discarding pet snakes in Florida has lead to an open season on burmese pythons. Or, in the case of Moninda Marube, you get chased down an empty country road by two bears, with no one around to hear you scream.

Marube, a native of Kenya who has called Maine home for the past 7 years, was in the middle of an 18 mile long run when he was greeted by two bears. In the above video interview he did with Lewiston-Auburn Sun Journal, he said he thought about it for about 5 seconds before taking off in the opposite direction of the bears.

According to a hilarious website I found called SPEEDOFANIMALS.COM a brown bear has a top running speed of 21.7 mph. So, by the time Marube found a nearby cabin to take refuge in, he said that the bears were only 10 yards behind him. He managed to stay safe inside a screened in porch (HA! Stupid animals!) and emerged 10 minutes later and, I imagine, sprinted the rest of the way home.

The Lewiston-Auburn Sun Journal originally broke the story, and I’d like to point out a gem from their article regarding bear safety:

“…if a black bear should become aggressive, running is not recommended. One should try to appear larger and make loud noises, repeating, “Hey, bear,” while slowly backing away.”

And also this one, just in case you weren’t aware of the movement patterns of the Maine bears:
“The black bears who live in the area of the Whitman Spring Road Trail make their way to Auburn Lake to drink at about 5 a.m.”
Despite his account, the allure of a dangerous animal as a pet is not yet lost on me. Thanks to things like this gif of a waving bear, or this guy and his polar bear friend, or the depiction of them on things like The Simpsons, I’m still in the market for a house-bear.