January 14, 2019
It was brought to our attention that a woman has been running around the world drawing male genitalia with her GPS recordings of her runs. We shared some of her best work on our Instagram page and because of everyone’s reactions in the comments section, we reached out for more information on this legend. After a quick trip into the DMs, we got in touch with Dick_Run_Claire – a self described “Beer enthusiast w/ a dick running prob”. Please enjoy this short Q&A with the viral star.
First off, why?
Claire: Well… why not. It makes people laugh, which I love. Everyone needs a little levity in their day. Before I started posting my runs to the ‘gram, I would just send them to friends.
How did this idea come about?
So, it actually started out as an accident. I was visiting my brother in Kansas City – the Missouri side to be specific – and we’re originally from New Jersey so I got lost while out on a run. When I got back and saw the GPS tracker route, I thought it was so funny. After that, I don’t know, I guess I have the mentality of a middle school kid, because I love looking for dickrun routes.
How much preparation goes into your dick routes? Do you know all of them by heart?
I’ve become quite skilled in spotting a dick on a map – it’s a very unique skill. I travel throughout the U.S. (for work and for fun) and anytimethat I’m in a new city, I really make it a point to get out for a dickrun. I love running in a new place anyway, a run is the best way to get to know a city… and to be able draw a giant dick across a town… it’s just icing on the cake.
I don’t know all of my dickruns by heart – especially the more detailed ones, like the ones with hands especially – but definitely once I have run the route once, I can repeat it pretty easily. The first time doing a dickrun route is tough because you are basically looking at your phone the whole time, making sure you turn at the right streets. The worst is when I get caught up in a run, miss a turn, and ruin the drawing. Then I have to go back and do it again later.
Sometimes I look at a map and it just feels like someone on the “town planning committee” had some kind of Freudian issue because they definitely intentionally made a dick out of the roads. A disturbing amount of the time they’re near schools. Someone should really look into that, honestly.
But sometimes it just takes patience, a keen eye and a little creativity to find the road dick in a town.
Is it hard?
Sometimes 😉 I mean, I’ve tackled all kinds of dickruns…. short and mostly down, long with lots of ascent, sometimes it’s mostly about the balls. It really depends.
What’s the longest run/drawing that you’ve put together?
I think my longest dickrun was in Vermont. I was there with family/friends for a ski weekend and I was also training for a marathon so I needed some decent mileage. That one was 14 miles. And it was actually drawn really well, almost 3D like.
My favorite ones aren’t always the longest though (pun intended). I actually love the ones that have some kind of unique detail – like one I did that had super detailed crinkly balls.
What do your friends and family think of this?
Everyone except my dad thinks I’m hilarious. I even told him that the internet basically voted and they think I’m funny, but he thinks his vote counts more. I try to get everyone I know to go on dickruns with me, but oddly enough only a handful take me up on it.
In the movie Superbad, Jonah Hill’s character says: “”When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem, and it’s not even that big of a deal. Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. It’s–for some reason, I would just kinda sit around all day…and draw pictures of….”” Do you think you fall into that 8%?
When I was a kid, no. But now that I’m an adult with a job, responsibilities and limited free time, I manage to spend an inordinate amount of my day scrolling around google maps drawing road dicks. I have so many I’ve mapped out but not yet gotten to run.
Do you have an ultimate dick run in mind? One route/location that you could retire on?
Well Bangkok would be a cool location for a dickrun just because there’s so much you can do with that. Anywhere with a good name to make some dick puns is a good location. I’m a sucker for dad jokes. But right now, I’m just trying to dickrun all 50 U.S. states.
The coolest thing though would be to organize an official dickrun 5k race. I feel like people could really get creative and into that. Plus coming up with a race medal would be so fun.
Author Thoms Heynk lives in Stillwater, Minnesota with his wife Judy and dog Flash. “My Coach The Spooky Scary Skeleton” is the second novel in his “Thoms Heynk Athletics Adventures” Series.