By Kevin Liao
March 23, 2017
I had a bit of fun back on April Fool’s Day 2011 on my old Spiked Up, Psyched Up blog when I posted the following race result:
Greater Detroit Regional
May 22, 1990
Event #31 Boys 800m Run
Heat 3
1. Saunders, Jeremy (Grosse Point South) 1:52.31
2. Jackson, Curtis (Cass Tech) 1:53.87
3. Buchanan, Keith (Kings) 1:54.75
4. Mathers, Marhshall (Lincoln) 1:54.76
5. Williams, Jamaal (Northwestern High) 1:57.89
6. Njapa, Charles (Western International) 2:01.01
7. Martin, Kelvin (Dearborn) 2:05.76
The guy in fourth place is obviously the main attraction — so did Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, really run a 1:54 800?
The answer: hell, no.
Though, as my colleague Ryan Sterner noted earlier this week, Eminem did admit to running up to 17 miles a day on the treadmill.
For the sake of intellectual honestly, I have to admit I didn’t even make up this April Fool’s Day ruse. The original fake race result came from a random LetsRun forum post earlier in 2011.
Was Eminem a 1:54.76 high school 800m runner? http://t.co/ed4SEhqmeZ #LoseYourself @Eminem #800m
— SPIKES (@spikesmag) August 27, 2013
One element of this prank that folks often forget is that Eminem isn’t the only rapper included in the prank.
First, there’s race runner-up Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent. Imagine if he actually had 1:53 speed — Get Rich or Die Tryin’ to Make Rio 2016 would’ve overtaken Without Limits as every high school runner’s favorite cult movie. And instead of albums called The Massacre, they likely would have been titled things like From the Candy Shop to In Da Club in Less Than 1:55.
Kevin Liao
Sacramento-based amateur runner, photographer and writer. Once interviewed Taoufik Makhloufi in French. Enjoys politics a lot. Follow him on Twitter @RunLiao.