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October 10, 2017

Bad Oscar Pistorius film set to debut on Lifetime, nobody is happy

Last month, it was announced that inspirational-Olympic-hero-turned-convicted-murderer Oscar Pistorius’s fall from grace had been adapted for the small screen, in the form of a Lifetime channel original movie–one of the most embarrassing forms of immortalization imaginable. Folks, meet Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner Killer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rwal-XCcOUo

The response was justifiably and nearly universally negative. I mean, did you watch it? (If not, do so, please!)

I’m as big a fan of ripped-from-the-headlines, police procedural dramas as the next guy. I can sit down and comfortably absorb four hours of Law & Order: SVU without batting an eyelash. But man, does this movie look bad. For starters, the title simply doesn’t make sense.

(First rule of titles is: don’t use back-to-back words ending in “-er.” That’s just the rules, and if you don’t like it, you shouldn’t be employed by Lifetime making bad movies.)

Moving forward, I didn’t write the book on accents, but somehow, the South African-born, vaguely Aaron Paul-looking actor portraying Pistorius somehow sounds less convincing than Leo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond.

Anyway, my minor gripes with the trailer mean little in the greater context of it being a Lifetime movie, which means in a few years, somehow, the film will be shown to checked out classrooms, taught by hungover coaches-turned-teachers, who are looking for a hands-off means of addressing mental health during state-mandated health and wellness lessons.

If I had grounds for legal action on the basis of this dumb movie being probably really bad, I would. But–thankfully–our justice system doesn’t offer such a pathway to justice. And it seems plenty of other online people are also of the impression the film looks shitty and is in poor taste.

And of course, those closest to the sting of the tragedy are also more than a little pissed.

The Pistorius family plans to pick up my legal slack, and will sue the producers of Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner Killer. Furthermore, the hapless filmmakers managed to offend the family of Pistorius’s victim, Reeva Steenkamp. Both families deny any involvement with the project, which is probably true, but if they’re now lying about it to distance themselves from it, then that’s fine by me too.

Oscar Pistorius: Blade Runner Killer is set to debut November 8th at 8pm on Lifetime. I’ll probably still wind up watching it.

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