One of our most popular series is back and better than ever. Last spring, we asked our readers to send in the best track and field headshots from team picture day. Well, our readers are super loyal and decided to spend some of their summer mastering their looks for the upcoming cross country season.
No matter what becomes of @CitiusMag, there is one thing I am certain of- fall of 2017 is going to create some outrageous roster photos.
— Will B-P (@Will_BP) May 11, 2017
For most, the opportunity to have widely-circulated portrait ends in high school, or starts after your first petty crime, but, PER USUAL, student-athletes are exempt from these rules. They get their mugs immortalized 1-3 times a career depending on the quality of their respective sports information department intern. And, If we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s if you give a runner the chance to act like a high schooler again, he or she will double-down on that offer every damn time. After this was a hit, we’ve decided to make it a recurring weekly round-up on Citius Mag dot com, we present a handful of kids who loved playing dress-up well after it was an activity anything close to appropriate with regards to their age.
We know you have more so shoot them our way via email or Twitter DM. Our info is at the bottom of the post.
Onto this week’s heroes:
Citwit Zach Polley has been messaging us for several months that he’s been working on a special look for this fall. Imagine that. Some kid sliding into our DM’s for months… just to turn up looking exactly like Craig Engels.
We’re still running a background check on this guy but we’re pretty sure he committed some sort of felony before taking this photo. This is not the pencil thin mustache Jimmy Buffet was wishing for, but it is a mystery why anyone would think this was a good look for the media guide.
This one is from the vault. I, Stephen Kersh, witnessed this photo happen. It was always going to be weird because our coach wanted us to wear hoodies in our photos and it was 100 degrees out so everyone was walking around the athletic department in our silly shorts and hoodies. These hoodies obviously didn’t fit correctly and covered the shorts so it looked like everyone was wearing some sort of sweatshirt dress. We were already not well-liked around the halls of the athletic department and this undoubtedly dug an even deeper grave. Anyways, Cody Barton (pictured) was a 5th year and really leaned into making sure everyone was going to have the weirdest year possible during his only year with the Pilots. He succeeded. I love Barton. This photo is creepy though and I imagine had I not worked for the Sports Information Department that year, it would have been torched.
Our friend from Shawnee State University was a stunt double for Jared Leto in Prefontaine.
Our friend from Washington and Lee went for the shy schoolgirl look and I’m a little terrified. There’s more to life than running doubles all summer while listening to Tiesto. Lose the pigtails and straighten that tie, the real world is coming for you.
This is the equivalent of the real life Evil Kermit The Frog Meme.
That feeling when you’ve been singing along to New Kids On The Block’s “Hangin’ Tough,” and they just dropped your “We’re rough” mantra. Step aside Water Polo team, there are some new bad boys on campus this year and they’re running with their shirts off until December.
Lose the Nautica windbreaker, cut the party you tried to grow on the back of your head, and shape the fuck up. Your mother is going to see this photo. Your aunt will want to share your roster photo on Facebook. And you gave them THIS: the look of high school lacrosse player who summered in Cape Cod and discovered marijuana.
When you spend all Summer growing that power stache, but forget to lose the undershirt. Do some push-ups, scowl at the camera or anything else that will scare your opponents this Fall. Good news is you’re now on a Campus Watch list and not for the Bowerman.
Our team of the week:
We’re going to award the first team of the week to Wheeling Jesuit because it’s exactly what you would expect a couple rascals from West Virginia to put together.
The middle row in particular looks like the different stages of human evolution. The photo on the far left is most likely still somewhere between the australopithecus afarensis and homo habilis state.