When it comes to boosting the profile of our sport, there are basically two schools of thought.

The first, we’ll call the “stewardship model.” It’s the more old-school approach and essentially boils down to increasing the popularity of track one fan at a time, by gradually and sustainably growing the profiles of events. The Diamond League falls under this umbrella. In the States, think of professional-community-hybrid meets like the Portland Track Festival. For plenty of fans, if meets like these are the apex of the non-championship season, then track and field is already in a pretty good place, propped up by those with an undying passion for the sport.

Then there’s the other philosophy. One that involves pitch decks, words like “disruption” and “innovation,” and venture capital. The goal is to transform the century-old sport into a can’t-miss entertainment product that elevates its stars into the same stratosphere as your LeBron Jameses and Simone Bileses. Think: Grand Slam Track and ATHLOS.

Like many, if not most, of our readers, we’re generally in the first camp—we’re complaining about commercials during the 10,000m, unpacking every step of a tactical 1500m, and begging World Athletics to stop messing around with field event formats. But we’re already hardcore fans of the sport, and the Mr. Monopolies and Scrooge McDucks aren’t digging into their wallets to keep us entertained. In a world where pillow fighting and three-way soccer have earned airtime at ESPN, it’s clear the free market wants gimmicks.

Here are five of our zaniest, potentially profitable track-related ideas that would only require several million dollars to get off the ground. So listen up, hedge fund managers and angel investors!

Creative Brand Partnerships: ATHLOS has done a nice job of bringing major brand partners into the fold that aren’t directly connected to the track and field universe, like Toyota or Tiffany. Let’s do something similar with a beloved purveyor of egg-based breakfast dishes: Josh Awotunde should host a stop of Ryan Crouser’s World Shot Put Series inside of a Denny’s. Awotunde is a notorious Denny’s lover and there’s a rich tradition of Denny’s locations being used for non-dining/getting lit purposes. And given that Red Bull already sponsors Mondo Duplantis and Karsten Warholm, the energy drink brand well known for its high profile stunts could very well send Mondo vaulting over a 20-foot inflatable can or have Warholm chug a can then race a raffle-winner in a 400m.

Nostalgia: What’s old is new again, and as the trend cycle continues to contract, we’ve landed on the late 2000s being the primary inspiration for most modern culture. And given that most of today’s big stars were in elementary school 20 years ago, unfortunately the time has come. It’s time for a “Throwback Thursday” meet where big name athletes wear shutter shades and warm up in American Apparel hoodies, all set to a soundtrack of MGMT. Every pro gets to dig into their sponsor’s archives for a discontinued pro kit, whether it’s a FloJo speedsuit or the Frank Shorter Florida tank top. Most importantly, no one is allowed to compete in shoes manufactured in the modern era. So dust off your Matumbos and get ready to party like it’s 2009.

Nostalgia, part 2: Every time Usain Bolt trots out to an event, mainstream news outlets act like Bigfoot has reappeared. Sure, that might be annoying for the stars of today trying to make names for themselves, but it has the side effect of reengaging fans who base their track fandom on Wheaties boxes. And how else is Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce going to spend her time next year? The “let the average Joe race the pros” suggestion is as stale as yesterday’s coffee, but what about getting Ato Boldon out of the commentary booth and into lane 9? What about a 4x400m that starts with Sanya Richards-Ross and ends with Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone? Or, hear us out: A high-stakes 400m race where Jacory Patterson faces off with Michael Johnson for a $100,000 prize. Too soon?

New venues, no rules: There are plenty of fans still seeing red over the disqualification of their favorite athletes at Worlds. Whether these were the right calls or not is up for debate, but it’s not controversial to point out that if there were no rules, nobody would have been DQ’d. One way to achieve a more “anything goes” version of track and field is to host a major meet on the jogging track of a cruise ship or a resort at a remote tropical island (that’s not Bermuda or Jamaica). In international waters there are no disqualifications, so there’s no reason for athletes to hold back. That’s maritime law, baby. You could charge fans an exorbitant amount of money because the racing would be more physical and thus, more like MMA, but also because fans are getting room and board—and what kind of track fan doesn’t want to bump into a World champion at the all you can eat buffet after the race?

Paid Doofuses: Think about one of sports’ most celebrated rivalries: basketball’s Harlem Globetrotters versus the Washington Generals (That venture still makes some money, right?). This dynamic works not just because the Globetrotters are skilled and wear cool shorts, but because the Generals are there to play the flubbing-up foil. It’s basketball stripped of any real competition, distilled into a circus-like performance. This would be so easy for track to pull off: assemble a bunch of track and field “all-stars” (C-tier athletes on the path toward retirement who are riding out the final year of their contracts) and have them face off in a series of events against athletes of the exact same archetype, but who allow themselves to be pantsed mid relay exchange or have pies shoved in their faces on the starting line.

Will any of these ideas single-handedly save the sport? Probably not. But if you’ve got money to burn and dead time to fill in the offseason, it’s worth throwing a few eggs at the wall and seeing if any of them don’t crack.

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