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September 20, 2017

Feast your eyes on the best male athlete portraits in track and field (Part VIII)

One of our most popular series is back and better than ever. Last spring, we asked our readers to send in the best track and field headshots from team picture day. Well, our readers are super loyal and decided to spend some of their summer mastering their looks for the upcoming cross country season.

For most, the opportunity to have widely-circulated portrait ends in high school, or starts after your first petty crime, but, PER USUAL, student-athletes are exempt from these rules. They get their mugs immortalized 1-3 times a career depending on the quality of their respective sports information department intern. And, If we’ve learned anything over the years, it’s if you give a runner the chance to act like a high schooler again, he or she will double-down on that offer every damn time. After this was a hit, we’ve decided to make it a recurring weekly round-up on Citius Mag dot com, we present a handful of kids who loved playing dress-up well after it was an activity anything close to appropriate with regards to their age.

Shout-out to Intern Matt for helping out with these.

We know you have more so shoot them our way via email or Twitter DM. Our info is at the bottom of the post. All photos have been user submitted.”Hey guys, doing any illegal drugs or drinking underage around here? Just wondering, I’m not a cop or anything. Do you guys like… looks at note written on palm memes?”

Previous editions

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VI

Part VII

Onto this week’s stars:

Brackin Stewart, from Troy University

The nerdier, skinnier nephew of HHH was upset when the WWE didn’t have any openings for Summer Slam so he decided to go out for the cross country team.

mustachioed warrior

Tough times call for desperate measures. This is what happens when you have to take a job at Westworld because the NCAA doesn’t allow you to make any money.


It’s always awkward when the university hires your ex-girlfriend and her new boyfriend to be the photographers for the media guide two years in a row.


not a cop

“Hey guys, doing any illegal drugs or drinking underage around here? Just wondering, I’m not a cop or anything. Do you guys like… *looks at note written on palm* memes?”


study abroad

This is what happens when your teammate studies abroad in Croatia and comes back completely different. Especially when he says “This is how all the people in Dubrovnik dress, promise”


 


squints

Squints from Sandlot had nine kids with Wendy Peffercorn and this is the one youngest who went on to run cross country.


sales man

“Howdy, buddy! Did you know I can get you EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted. You want that mansion in the hills? You want that nice car? You want beautiful women? Come to MY seminar next Friday at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center and learn how to get it. *Price: $999”


HERO OF THE WEEK:

hero of the week

Now I hope you’re sitting down for this because this is going to blow your mind. We’re currently investigating this submission because we’re pretty convinced that this is actually Seth Meyers after raiding the NBC props closet and just put on the woman’s wig. We will update you on the conclusion of our investigation.


TEAM OF THE WEEK

Sam Parsons may have graduated but N.C. State’s tradition of stars continues.

Tanis Baldwin - NC State

Wanna feel old? This is what the cast of “Brink” looks like now.


The Zac Efron before photo that Buzzfeed has been asking for.


Ben Battett - NC STATE

If you ever wanted to know if anyone was still saying “Suh dude” unironically, you have your answer. Yes, it’s this kid.


You know how Draco Malfoy gets turned into a ferret in the third Harry Potter movie? This is the opposite.


That’s the face of a man who’s happy he just maxed out his credit card at Pure Gold of Raleigh and he’ll talk about it three years later. “Hey guys, remember when…” “Yes, dude, but jeez they weren’t even that hot!”


This gif but in human form.


Most likely to walk up to a group of young ladies and ask if they watch Game of Thrones like it’s some sort of indie show.


disco stu

Ah, the nephew of Disco Stu from The Simpsons decided to run at N.C. State.


That face when you remember that time that you saw your best friend’s mom step out of the shower for a split second.


Coach said don’t stare directly into the sun during the eclipse. Qualifying for nationals just got a little harder with a blind runner.


Division I, II or III or even high school track team portraits are welcome. We know there’s more out there so sent them our way by email [email protected] or DM us on Twitter.

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